im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
