I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
