Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize