i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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