did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
