I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just gargled with NyQuil
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
