lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
