found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
