I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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