i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
