He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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