No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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