So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
