My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
