"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want to make a zoo with you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
