they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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