I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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