I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need to calm my uterus...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
