you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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