So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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