Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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