So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
