I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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