The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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