Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
