How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This girl is more easily done than said...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize