I hate your face
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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