It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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