Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
