I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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