i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
