i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
