then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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