i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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