I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
