I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How naked do you want me to be?
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