Yo dont text me then not text me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
