I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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