As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize