I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize