He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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