I think my fart just growled at me.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
