on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
