I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
