that's an acceptable place to lick
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
