Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
