id be glad to
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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