Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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