the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
