I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize