a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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