He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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