So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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