He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
