If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
