Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
