Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Found the puke drawer
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
