it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
