you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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