The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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