why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
