well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
