It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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