I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
do herpes really smell.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize